Anxiety. It is an unseeable force that seems to wash over me at any moments notice. It can be crippling and completely debilitating. Before the age of 22 (I am 27 as of writing this article) this feeling was completely foreign to me. I had perceived life to be nothing but clear blue skies and sunshine. I went through life with no idea of repercussions. This thought process can sound dangerous but it was more naive than nefarious. It was as if seeing life through the eyes of a child. If there is something I’ve learned with battling with anxiety, it is that it can be managed or outright eliminated if you figure out what works for you.
I’ve discovered that running, reading, and more importantly - landscape photography can all effectively battle this mental disorder.
I have always been wary of the question: Why do you do landscape photography. After listening to so many photographers stories & background. It always seems they just have it figured out. They have loved nature since birth or have always known they wanted to be a landscape photograper. I am not in that category. For me, I sheepishly say it is something I am passionate about. But really, at the root of landscape photography, it is the process of creating images that I have relied on in the hardest of times in my life. At the time some of my most emotive work was captured, there has always been issues I had been dealing with. Relationships. Life choices. Work issues. Health issues. The list goes on and on. I don’t think my life is full of terribleness. It is quite the contrary. I am very happy with my life. It is when these roadblocks pop up that cloud my ability to see how lucky I am when I need landscape photography the most.
I’ve reflected on if it is the photography aspect or the nature aspect that truly helps me. When I am photographing within the landscape, I am wholeheartedly present in that moment. When I am hiking without a camera, I am left to chew on my thoughts and anxieties. I think it is the camera that allows me to slow down and be present. It reminds me of the moment and to be conscious of life. It reminds me to be grateful to be breathing this fresh air.
I am unsure what these words were meant for. It may be due to having been dealt with another roadblock recently. I know I am and will be okay.
A quiet scene just before sunrise in Death Valley.